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Hun School: Thomas and Abby
- Similarly to the Anasazi and the drought they faced, California today is facing their largest drought in history, leading to large famines and migrate out of their homes areas.
- The more you don’t care about our environment, the more it will become polluted with contaminants and toxins that have a harmful impact on our health. Air pollution can cause respiratory diseases and cancer, among other problems and diseases, due to the inhalation of harmful chemicals. Water pollution can lead to typhoid, diarrheal diseases, and other waterborne/water-related diseases, due to the intake of bacteria and parasites. In reflection of all these impacts from current society, I believe we should be concerned about the future environment. If we do not change how developed societies use energy and important resources, we will continue to suffer the consequences.
- humans and the developed societies have a great impact on the environment today. Exhaust and emissions from transportation and developed industry have fundamentally changed our surrounding atmosphere.
- Some indicators of carrying capacity may be droughts that effect the production of crops, and therefore the lack of support needed for a large population
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3 Comment(s)
Hi! I really enjoyed the blog post, and I think you made some excellent points about the effects of pollution. I agree that this could be improved a little bit by working on the formatting - bullet points can work very well in text but in a piece like this you're probably better writing out full paragraphs. Also, a little more background introduction into the historical perspective on your argument with the Anasazi could really help set up your piece.
I really liked how you linked historical droughts to a specific current example of a drought. Your argument could benefit from exploring the specific consequences of that issue a little more - you mentioned famine and migration, but you could also mention the other effects on the environment and agriculture.
You could also go into a bit more detail on the concept of carrying capacity - that's a super important concept that other articles on these issues might not explore in detail, so a really good explanation here on what it is and why it's important would be really valuable.
Overall, this is a really fascinating, detailed piece. Good work!
Beth
Hi there! Here are some comments that you hopefully will find helpful in improving your blog.
First, while they can be useful in getting points across, I would avoid using bullet points and rather write a coherent text.
In your first bullet point, be careful with your wording. Your statement is that if we don't care about the environment, it will become more polluted, which in turn will impact our health. While more pollution impacts our health, you or I not caring about the environment does not necessarily impact pollution levels overall. Instead of focusing on whether someone cares about the environment, the emphasis could rather be on what we can actually do as individuals.
In the second bullet point, make sure you capitalize the first word. Also, when you use the word great, it sounds positive. If your point is that the impact is not positive, consider using a word that is less positively charged. Maybe you could also mention an example of how the atmosphere has changed.
Your last bullet point reads somewhat choppy. See if you can reformulate in order to get the point across that droughts reduce crop output, which in turn make it more difficult to support a large population.
Keep up the good work!
Hi there!
I liked and found interesting to bring up a past drought to compare with California. I would have enjoyed more content on comparing the Anasazi drought to California. I feel this will help relate to the public, they don't already know, societies have fallen in the past due to lack of water. May turn your first paragraph to a stronger image and message.
- Your first bullet point. I would alter some grammar. "The continual disregard for our environment, the higher the risk of a harmful impact on our health due to contaminates and toxins in the pollutants. " In your next sentence, I'd suggest restructuring the sentence to something like "Water pollution can lead an increase in consumption of bacteria and parasites which may lead to water-borne/water-related diseases, such as typhoid and diarrhoeal diseases." I think now would be a good time to tie in how this may be deadly to the young and elderly populations.
- Second bullet point. I'll just suggest some wording alterations. "Developed and developing countries are presently having a large impact on the environment today. " I would like some examples of how we are experiencing this pollution, just as you did in the previous bullet. Check out this link, as it talks about smog and city haze. http://www.ucsusa.org/clean_energy/our-energy-choi...
- I would like you to expand in more detail on your last sentence. You raise important issues that I feel need to be discussed in slightly more detail to get the importance message across. "An indicator that affects the populations carrying capacity could be the availability of food resources." Then you could tie in to your first sentence about the Anasazi society and the drought they experienced.
Overall, you raised some very important points! General comment would be to connect your bullet points together with linking ideas. Take my comments as merely feedback and suggestions, to use if you want! Please let me know if you have any questions!
Laura
Beth Richardson
Dec 6, 2015